I Love Life

I woke up
My little brother was sick so I didn't have to drive him to school
I stretched and practiced my contortion training
I learned 2 new contortion tricks
I have 1 1/2 of the new contortion tricks down
I got to meet up with Puppy for On the Mark Nutrition
I went home
Watched Saw III, Saw IV, and Saw V
Had all my plans cancelled on me
Saw no one else all day
Found out Mom was back in the hospital
Sat on the couch without the energy or optimism to do anything
Can't leave the house because I have to take care of my sick little brother while Dad is with Mom at hospital
Puppy was feeling sick at work
Couldn't go help Puppy because I couldn't leave the house
Mom comes home from hospital with Dad, throws up, and then lies down for bed
I get on computer and have nothing left to do with my day

Insomnia

Oh the joys of not sleeping at night. I don't sleep well but usually I spend my nights being more productive then writing on here because there's nothing left to do. Usually when I can't sleep (basically every night) I embroider, draw, write, sing quietly as to not wake my family, watch TV or movies, walk around, make food that doesn't require loudness, read, create something, sow, and more. Tonight I want to watch Katy Perry the Movie. Mainly because I love Katy Perry, I haven't seen it yet, and earlier today I rented the movie but didn't watch it because I found out my favorite movie was on and I watched that instead (My favorite movie is: The Skeleton Key). Yes. Now  I'm writing here because I feel there's nothing left to do before I put the movie in.
You know, night is so very beautiful. It's peaceful. The quiet, the darkness, the color of the sky, the stars, the moon, the moon covered by night's black clouds. It's truly magnificent. I adore the night, more than the day at least. Unfortunately I need to be up during the day so as much as I love the night I also want sleep, but I rarely get it.
I get very sad at night, maybe because to pass time I think too much, or listen to sad music that makes my emotions all crazy depressed. I just get lonely is all. Everyone is asleep and I sit in my room wide awake with no one to talk to but myself or my stuffed animals. I have no one to call who will answer and stay up with me. Except Puppy, but I feel bad keeping him up. He's such a good friend and I don't want to mess with his sleep life just so I don't get lonely.
I don't know. I just want someone to spend my nights talking to. To talk to and to laugh with. Someone to hug and cuddle with. Someone who will make me feel like my loss of sleep isn't a waste of the precious seconds of my life. Someone to make smile and to have adventures with.
I'm what most people call a social-lite. I flock to people and generally people like me. I'm optimistic and happy, fun and spontaneous, a little crazy but mostly not in a creepy way. I'm friendly and accepting, I listen and talk to people. I'm party girl until it's time to be serious, then I can be serious. I care about other people. I love people. I love them so much so being alone actually physically hurts sometimes. I'm someone who needs people. I don't care about being friends with everyone or if everyone likes me. Who cares? I know people will not like me and I know I can't make everyone happy. I just need people.
My days are fantastic if I'm around one person I love or care about. That's why being alone kills me. I truly need people around me to feel safe or comforted or happy. I need others. Seeing people makes me happy. It really does.

Cuddle Cat Nap/Sushi/Movie Date

Today started normally. Took my brother to school way before I was ready to be awake. Last night I stayed  up drawing my interpretation of the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. The Cheshire cat is my favorite character and I'm quite pleased with the way my drawing turned out.
Anyways, after I dropped Paul (my little bro) at school, I went and saw Puppy. We took a cuddle cat nap on his bed until we were mostly awake. Then we went to our nutrition club place we always go to. Then he had to go to work so I went home. I chilled at home for a bit, drew a little more, got some new music, and cleaned a tiny bit. Then around five-ish I went to see my friend Katie, we went and got sushi, then we hung out and talked  till I left for my date at seven. I had a date with a boy named Justen who is going to college right now for music (AWESOME!). Anyways, the plan was to go see a movie.
Now, just saying, a movie is the worst idea for a date....EVER. You can't talk and you're not really getting to know the other person at all. The only reason I didn't suggest another activity instead is because it was a horror movie we were going to and I ADORE horror movies with all my heart!!!!!!
So we watched the movie, drank Starbucks smoothies and went our separate ways  for the rest of the night. He's a great guy. He's handsome (but he doesn't qualify on the beautiful man list...btw Puppy is #1), he's nice, he's a gentleman, he smiled the entire time, he's actually really funny, he's sweet, he took me to a horror film. He's pretty great. His favorite color is red, he plays the guitar and piano, he likes all music EXCEPT country (....I like all music....this includes country.....country just isn't my favorite....at least I like it more than rap), his mom wants him to be a doctor or something but he loves music, he's active and likes to long board, he's SUPER nice to everyone around him (he thanks people for things more than I do...and that's saying something), he's optimistic and likes people. He's got some weird quirks but overall he's really a great guy and I had a swell time on our date tonight.
After the movie date I went and saw Puppy again because I missed him. I hadn't seen him all day except the morning when I was half asleep the whole time. We watched Scrubs and talked a bit. We both wanted to go on a walk but because of my injured toe we didn't. I wish we had. I miss him so much sometimes I wish I could write 'I Miss You' on a rock and throw it at his head so he knows how much it hurts! (For in case people do read this, that is an inside joke between me and Puppy, that's not serious.)
But I do miss him already now that I'm home. I don't get it. I know people for years and can go months not talking to them and not miss them. I see him twice in one day for maybe two hours each and when I get home I miss him more then all those other people combined times fifty. I think its because time with Puppy is precious. Every second I get to spend with him is a gift not to take for granted. I could spend two hours alone just staring into his beautiful brown eyes.....anyways! That's why I miss him so much, because there is never enough time with Puppy, never. I can never get sick of his presence. But other people after a while start to annoy me......

WOO!

So.....yeah. Today was AWESOME! Also pretty normal. Took my brother to school, hung out with Puppy, went to On the Mark Nutrition, went to work, got home. Yeah. Oh! I'm hanging out with my friend Katie at five tomorrow. We're going to get snowcones and sushi. Then at seven I'm going to see a horror movie with Justen. It'll be great. Sorry this is such a short post....nothing really happened today. It was pretty normal. I like that my normal days are so awesome :3

The Tale of the Bloody Toe

YAY! So my toe has been injured for a few weeks now. It's been really gross and pussy and sometimes, if I walk on it a lot or put lots of pressure on it, it bleeds. Well, it's usually not so bad and just slightly painful. I clean the wound every day and wrap it in 3 band-aids and sports tape. Well today I was closing at work with Puppy. My toe really started to hurt but whatever. When we were done and went outside, I took off my shoe and notices that the part of my sock where my big toe is was covered in blood. It had bled through the 3 band-aids and the sports gauze AND my sock. GROSS! Anyways, it was bloody. Then Puppy and I cleaned it, wrapped it in gauze, and bandages. It's all good now, just hurts. But I thought it was funny. :3

Cleaned My Room For A Reason

So.....I cleaned my room. Mostly because I don't want it to feel like my room anymore. No more safe haven. It's going to be a empty room from now on so I won't be attached and will have no reason to ever be home. I hate living in my house, it's not a very pleasant environment.
Now you all know that I spend almost all my time with Puppy, because he's my BMFFE. He means the world to me so we spend as much time together as we can. This also means him coming over after work which he usually gets off around 11:30pm or midnight. He'll come over and we'll just hang out until he leaves for home. My Dad I guess got sick of this last night. Not only that but he has some serious issues against me. He's just using the fact that I "spend too much time with George" as an excuse to stab me with all the problems he thinks I have. He really thinks I'm a bad child. Anyways, last night he said that if Puppy comes over after work or after midnight again he will no longer be welcome in our home. Then he added that if I break that rule or any rule then it's the same for me. I won't be welcome in my father's house.
So......after that I couldn't sleep. So I cleaned my entire room out. Took EVERYTHING off my walls and cleaned everything. For those who know me, you know I HATE voids on my walls so my walls are ALWAYS covered completely. The fact that they are now bare make my room feel very unwelcome which is what I want. I don't want to be kicked out but at the same time I really do because I hate living here.....

Black Cherry

My new hair is a black cherry color. It's dark red and shiny in sunlight! I LOVE IT! Haha, not what I was going for but I really love the way it looks. It's great. I also want to take this time to say I love my job and all the people I work with! I LOVE YOU ALL! I love all my friends, especially those I see a lot and who come to our Thursday night ultimate frisbee games. You guys are the best! So many people to love. Puppy-G, Abi-Bird, David-Bug, Destry-Danish, Kelly-Kitten, My Angel-Mckenna, Ani, Arin, Catye, My Cactus Child-Josh, Katie, Katlyn, Kenzie, Kylea, Leslie, Cameron C., Manda-Panda, My Twin-Lex, My Love-Narissa, My Legacy-Nick, Trent, My Heart-Kylie, All my new friends (Like Bambi and Alex and Brad and such people I have just met recently), and I probably forgot a lot of people but there is just too much love to name them all. Oops and oh well. <3 LOVE! <3 LOVE! <3 LOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVEEEEE

YEAH!

Okay, I'm excited! There are things I very greatly enjoy in life: Making friends, talking to people, giving hugs/cuddling, Going to Amusement Parks, and Getting my hair done. In the past year I have gone through the hair colors: Dirty Blonde (natural color), Brunette, Burgundy, Black with blue tint, Black with red tint, and Cherry red which faded to a beautiful orange color which is the color I have right now. I adore my red/orange hair but I miss my black and tomorrow I return it to black, with the red tint of course. I want to put a blue streak through my bangs, that sounds fun, but it all depends on if they have blue when I go in tomorrow. I hope so. :3 :3 :3 I love getting my hair dyed/cut/styled, doesn't matter! I love the haircut place! :D YAY!

I'm Tired.....

You know, I'm a very very very very very happy person. People always say I'm too happy. I smile all day long and I love everyone. People mean everything to me and I make friends with everyone. It's not fake either, i'm truly just an extremely happy person. Unless I can't sleep. I can get really, really sad at night. I don't know why, but I just do. I adore the nighttime but after a certain time I just get really sad. Like now. Right now, I'm just tired of being lonely. Being everyone's friend is strangely very lonely. So I spend all my time generally with one or two people now to create real friendships. Yet, I still find myself feeling so very lonely all the time.

What to write.....

I'm not exactly sure what to write.....hmm........hmm.................Yeah, I have no clue. OH! It rained today, I went and woke up Puppy early in the morning to play in the rain with me! It was super fun and it rained for most of the day today. Which is awesome because I love rain with all my heart! Then I went to the dentist, which is always great. Mainly because I have great teeth and my dentists always tell me I take such wonderful care of my teeth. :3 YAY! Then I spent more time with Puppy. Yep. Then....well, I went to work. Yeah. Then I went home and watched TV until now.

Woot! Woot!

Nothing really new to say. Saturday I spent my day with George then went to work (but this time didn't get sick :3 Huzzah!). Sunday I went to church with George, then we ate some mac n cheese together. After that I went to see my Kelly-Kitten and we made origami flowers and such things. We also watched two movies while doing origami. Then I went back to George's for maybe ten minutes to say hello and give him a bouquet of my origami tulips and some origami lotuses. Then I went home. Yes.  Then I ate a ton of food and later that night George came over so we could do some nightly reading on the phone with Abi, we said a prayer with the three of us and then she had to sleep. George stayed till around midnight before he too had to go because he was tired. It was a great night. Now it is Monday, I'm awake and already took my little bro to school. WOO! I have to go get at very least two thank you cards today. I'm giving one to George everyday, and when I can't get them, I'm going to make them. I didn't give him one yesterday which is unacceptable so today he must get two. YES!

Ups & Downs

Yesterday was interesting. It started off with my Dad taking me to get the brakes on my car fixed. Then Puppy came over to play. He tried to teach me how to play chess.....after a while we ended up playing Jenga. But he hasn't given up on teaching me chess, apparently it's a process.
Anyways, all this was amazing and super fun. Then we went and picked up my car with it's shiny new brakes that don't make the car sound like it's going to explode. Then we picked up my little brother from school and took him home. Then we went to subway. Oh, Puppy and I had been avoiding subway because the last time I went I threw it up, which was sad, because I absolutely adore subway sandwiches.
Anyways, we went to subway, hung out for a little bit, then we had to go to work. Oh the joy of working with your best friend :3 Well, at work, the tuna sandwich from subway decided to come back and I threw it up just like last time. So no more subway for me......
I also got a horrible headache which was more like a migraine than anything. I ended going home from work way early because of it. When I got home I slept until around 9pm. Then I watched my family and a few of their friends play Boggle. Then my Dad put on the Hunger Games movie after everyone but him and me had fallen asleep. During the movie Puppy came over to check on me and take care of me. At this point my stomach had settled nicely but my head still wanted to split in two. He brought me all the things I need to feel better when I'm sick: Strawberry yogurt, Chocolate Pudding, French Fries, Gatorade, Love & Cuddles. We finished the movie then sat on a blanket on my front lawn watching the stars. Puppy stayed with me until my headache was gone.......he left about ten minutes ago.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSA!

It's a wonderful morning because last night was such a wonderful night. I got a lot off my chest last night and I finally got over a problem that has been plaguing me forever now. I feel so very very very happy right now! I feel like a million pounds has been lifted off my shoulders and like I can breathe again. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

Mreh Mreh Mreh

I adore my life! I absolutely adore it! I adore my friends, my work, the people I work with, the people I see and talk to! Life is great!
So, today I have decided something very important. Yesh. Very important, but I cannot say yet, it is not ready to be known. I have to fully develop this decision so I know exactly how to word it when I'm ready for it to be said. :3 This decision makes me very happy, though, yes it does.

Best Congrats Card Saying I've Ever Heard

You reached for the stars and got them. Now you have a handful of stars. Big f***ing deal



LOL! I found a congrats card that said that and busted up! I LOVE IT! Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!

The picture is of my darling Kelly Kitten. :3 Meow. She's awesome, I love this girl. I spent all of last summer practically living on her couch. She's so funny and crazy. Anyways, today I spent my day with awesome people. I spent my morning with my family doing fun family stuff for labor day. Then I spent little while with George and Abi before Abi went back to her college and George went to work. After they left I spent the rest of my day with Kelly. We watched some great movies :3 HUZZAH!

Moods......

Good, Great, Bad, Okay, Good, Bad, Horrible, Utterly miserable
Bad, Okay, Good, Fantastic, Good, Okay, Irritated, Mad, Angry, Horrible, Sad, Bad
Okay, Good, Great, Fantastic, Wonderful, Happy, Glorious
Who know? Probably, Good, Okay, Bad, Horrible, Great, Wonderful, Fantasatic