MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Merry Christmas to all!!!!!! I LOVE CHRISTMAS!
Well, it's Christmas day and presents have been opened. We all ate breakfast as a family and will have our christmas dinner tonight as a family as well. WOO! This includes my brothers that aren't my blood brothers but that we took in (this year it's Jordan and Taylor). I'm excited! I got a lot of Batman stuff (since I'm Batman obsessed), I also got a lot of new clothes and chocolate, along with a line of perfumes from Rue 21. Yay!
Tomorrow after Christmas I am heading off with one of my best friends, my Kelly-Kitten:3 Kelly is a wonderful person and she's taking me to stay with her at her Dad's house in Florida for her Birthday (December 30th) and also for New Years. So after tonight I will not be posting anything till I get back. I will be flying back on January 3rd. Not that anyone reads this anyways, just thought I'd mention it.
I'm super excited to go to Florida. Because 1) I've never been that far East (I grew up in California then moved to Utah, the farthest east I've ever been is Wyoming) 2) I get to spend nine days straight with KELLY! WOO! 3) We're going to Disneyworld and other such amazing places 4) I've always wanted to see Florida 4) My mom's best friend in the entire world lives in Florida, I remember her from when I was a little girl. I think the last time I saw her, I wasn't even a teenager yet, I was probably around ten or eleven. She has a daughter now, the last time I saw her she wasn't even pregnant. Wow, it's been a long time.
I've never been on a plane before, I'm a little scared. I've always driven places, I've never gone anywhere so far that I needed to fly there. AH! It'll be an adventure!


So, yeah. It's day 5 of Operation: G.H.L.F.L.O.L. I know I posted pictures on Day 1 and 3 but since I'll be gone for 10 days, I figured I'd post more. (Mainly because I LOVE taking pictures of myself :D I can't help it, it's my mother in me. She was a model for a short while and I swear I got my love of being photographed from her.) Oh! I forgot to mention when I posted the pictures for Day 3. Ignore the fact that I wear dog collars, it's a long story. I've been wearing them as necklaces since 7th grade, it's kinda my thing. I have multiple collars, two orange, one brown leather, one black, one spiked, one polka dotted. I really only wear my orange and brown leather one now, since they're the only ones I feel comfortable wearing (The others are from ex-boyfriends and friend that are no longer my friends so I don't wear them anymore). So yeah, don't judge me or anything just because I wear dog collars, I quite enjoy and love my collars.

Surprise Birthday Party!

Yesterday was my dearest friend Nick's birthday and birthday party. We went ice skating in Vegas, it was tons of fun. Well, her dad couldn't make it he was working (he's a truck driver). But today he got home so we threw her ANOTHER birthday party but only this time her dad was back. :D It was a surprise party and she was super surprised, she even cried. It was great. It reminded me of when Abi's mom and I threw Abi  a surprise party for her 17th birthday, Abi cried as well. Out of happiness in both cases, of course.
Anyways, the party was super fun. We ate cake, listened to awesome music, played catch phrase, sang songs, played a Michael Jackson dance game, and talked. It was so much fun! Now I'm going to see a movie with her tomorrow morning then do....whatever I guess. Probably pack since I leave for Florida on wednesday. I also need to make or find two more presents before tuesday. So I guess I have to do that tomorrow, haha.
Well, yeah. Today is also Day 3 of Operation: G.H.L.F.L.O.L. Obviously my hair hasn't grown very much. It's only been three days after all. But  I like keeping track, it makes it more fun, like a game. Plus I enjoy pictures and this is a fun excuse to take pictures of myself day after day without seeming too conceited. It also gives me reasons to always have recent pictures of myself. I usually only take pictures when I change my  hair color or style or cut it or something. Now I'll always have recent pictures of myself. I should probably post the stages I'm going for as well. Like stages of hair from where it is now to where I want it to be. So I'll post 3 pictures today. Two of them will be pictures from today of what my hair looks like right now and the third picture is stage one of Operation: G.H.L.F.L.O.L. Once my hair reaches the length of Stage one, then I'll move onto growing it to the length of stage two. Makes it easier so I'm not totally impatient. Instead of thinking immediately from short to long, it'll be from bot short to short. From short to kinda short. From kinda short to middle neck length. From middle neck to shoulder length. From shoulder length to past shoulders. From past shoulders to boobs, to elbows, to waist, or however long I want it to be (probably not that long before I cut it for L.O.L.). Anyways, doing it in stages makes patience A LOT easier. So I'll post the two pics from today and stage one that I'm working towards :3

Me Day 3 Operation: G.H.L.F.L.O.L. <3

 Me on Day 3 Operation: G.H.L.F.L.O.L. <3

 Stage One:

Ice Skating

I have fallen in love with ice skating today! For my friends Nick's birthday we went to Vegas because it has the nearest ice skating rink. We went ice skating for hours and it was amazing. It felt so natural to me. Maybe because I grew up going everywhere on roller blades and we had a roller bladeing rink near where I grew up. Ice skating is very similar to roller blading, ice skating just requires more balance and instead of hitting grass or concrete when you biff it, you hit ice. Anyway, I love and adore it! It was glorious. Now I want to go ice skating all the time. There used to be an ice skating rink here where I live now, it was there for two seasons but I could never go, I never had enough time. Now I really wish I had. Oh well. I hope we get an ice skating rink here again sometime. I would be so very happy :3
Anyways, it's also day 2 of Operation Grow Hair Long for L.O.L. (haha, Operation: G.H.L.F.L.O.L). I really wish I had long hair while skating because my ears were super cold without hair to cover them, so I wore a beanie, which was cute.

DAY ONE!

OKAY! Freshman year of high school I had hair to my elbows, it was gross because it was unhealthy and I had NO IDEA how to take care of my hair (let alone myself). For my birthday the summer after freshman year, my older brother (C.J.) took me to get my hair cut for Locks of Love, an organization that makes wigs from real hair to cancer patient children. (This means a lot because my mother was diagnosed with brain cancer and lost her hair at one point.) Anyways, it was cut just above the shoulders. Since then: June 3, 2009 my hair has never again reached my shoulders. Since that day it's gotten shorter and shorter. And since Junior year (2011) my hair has never reached past my chin. I've pixie cut it again and again. Every time I try to grow it out it makes it to my chin then I pixie cut it again because I get too impatient with it. Well, not this time. This time I have a reason. I want to donate to Locks of Love again. To do this, I need at very least 13 inches of hair to donate. I finally WILL grow my hair out again. Honestly, I look GREAT with short hair and I only have bad memories of long hair. I'm going to change that. Now that I know how to actually take care of hair and style it and such. YAY! I also color it so I won't have my nasty natural hair color anymore. And dying my hair won't damage my hair anymore since I'll be dying it with henna. I know  I can be patient enough to grow it out if it's for a good cause like Locks of Love again. It'll be interesting. Anyway, today is technically not day one since this was decided a few weeks ago. But I count today as day one so  I have a monthly day to go by. I will be posting pictures to keep it updated and I can go back and look at the progress so I don't feel like I'm getting no where. My hair is almost to my chin, once I get past that it'll be fine until I have to make it past my shoulders (which shouldn't be for a while, although my hair does grow really fast, it still should be a while till we get to that point). So yeah, as of day one, my first challenge will be getting my hair past my chin. :3 BELIEVE IN ME! I believe in myself. So I declare today DAY ONE of OPERATION GROW HAIR LONG FOR L.O.L. <3 Friday December 21, 2012 11:31am

Day 1: Operation Grow Hair Long for L.O.L. <3

The Last Something That Meant Anything

Well, I'm tired. Not physically, no, I'm wide awake. I'm just tired of loving life. I still do, I know I'll never stop loving my life no matter what, but it tires me out sometimes. Like unwillingly pulling all-nighters. Seeing my best friend and being so happy then seeing the one I used to call my best friend and wishing them nothing more then the misery they recently brought into my life. I used to love her so much, and now....I feel like I don't care about her at all. Like her presence has no more meaning in my life. Now all she is, is my best friend's girlfriend. I mean, I don't hate or dislike her at all, she just means nothing to me personally. I've lost all feeling towards her. I'm just confused on how life works. She lies and breaks her promise to me and yet she ended up in a happy, loving relationship with the possible love of her life. I don't break my promise, I'm the one left heart-broken and I end up lonely in a house full of disapproval and anger. She ends up six hours away at college and her boyfriend says he'll do a long distance relationship and they stay together happy and in love. I'm stuck in this house where I feel no love, no care, trapped. Alone, so lonely. All by myself, everyone in this house wants me to fail, expects me to fail, express their feelings to me of how I'm not good enough. And I have no one here for me. Why? How does that work? She lies and breaks promises and ends  up happy. I get hurt and end up lonely and miserable. I love life, but yeah, sometimes it just exhausts me.

"She's got broken things where her heart should be and I keep rolling it over in my head. If your heart is true then I'll be with you, cause it's you that I adore. And we both know I loved you more." -You're Dead Wrong, Mayday Parade

Early morning

I haven't slept all night. At this point people are waking up to go to early morning jobs and such. Haha, wow. I got no sleep at all, pulled an all-nighter unwillingly. I couldn't sleep. I just couldn't. Oh well

Loving life is not a two way street

You know what I feel? I love life but it seems that the more I love life the more it tries to f**k me over. I love you life, please love me back. I do the best I can, I promise. I love everyone, I try to get along with everyone, I hug everyone every day, I take care of my mother and those who need my help, I'm almost happy ALL THE TIME. I don't see why you feel the need to try and f**k with my lovely life. Oh well, I guess it's just what you do. C'est la vie, such is life. Doesn't stop the fact that you are cruel. But I love you anyway, life, I truly do.

C'est La Vie

Such is life.

So, life is amazing still. My mom had around 85 seizures in just a few days and so she was rushed to the hospital and had surgery. But hopefully now the seizures will be under more control and she should have fewer seizures now.
On another note, officially every sunday afternoon I will be giving my darling Legacy, Nick, gymnastics/tumbling lessons. It's going to be amazing! We had our first lesson yesterday and she did great. It's wonderful that I get to spend time with her weekly now :3 YAY! We're also going to be choreographing dances. I want to do Everything's Okay by Lenka or a cover of Michael Jackson's Thriller done by Imogen Heap, it's beautiful. I also like Ramalama Bang Bang by Rosin Murphy, Perfect by Hedley, and How it Ends by DeVotchka. I'm not picky in what songs we choreograph, they'll all be amazing. We've already got the beginning of Threatened by Michael Jackson choreographed. I also need help in finishing a choreography I was doing on my own to Welcome to Burlesque by Cher. IT'LL BE SO MUCH FUN!

So Many Packages it Feels Like Christmas

Today I got three deliveries.
First I got my Herbalife inventory! Three huge packages of products to sell to people who want to be healthy and nutritious! I love it!!!! I'm going to clear off my bookshelf and put it there, it'll be great :D
The second was my Henna. I'm so excited! I have two things of body art henna, 9.5g for actual body art and 100g for dying my hair. Puppy agreed to do it and he's dying my hair with the henna tomorrow around 10am. WOO! I'M EXCITED!
The third was my Mayday Parade hoodie!!!!!!!!!!!! It's the red one I wanted really bad. It's soft and beautiful and I love it and it was so worth ordering it!
Now I'm only waiting for one last package to come. It should arrive in the next couple days :3 It's my Mayday Parade shirt and wristbands. I get the shirt and I'm giving Puppy the wristbands (The wristbands are for the songs Oh Well Oh Well and Stay). It'll be great when they arrive

On another note, not such a happy one, my mom was hospitalized today and she might go into surgery on wednesday because of how many seizures she's been having in the past couple days. I have faith she'll be okay but as a daughter I can't help but worry about her.

Happy Day! Happy Day!

Oh joy! Puppy is the greatest person to ever walk this earth! We were at work last night and he let me leave early to go see a play. Not just any play, though. I know somewhere on this blog I have a post about a girl named Nick. Nick is my legacy, she is exactly like me and I love her to death. I haven't seen this girl in months and I missed her SO much and I love her SO much. Now she's super talented and even though she's a sophomore she got a role in the play her school (my old high school) was putting on. It was her last night so it was the only night I could go see it and I was stuck at work. I was sad. But Puppy swooped in and saved the day like a superhero! THANK YOU, PUPPY! I love him so much, he's the best friend anyone could ever ask for! Anyways, I got to go see her play (It was called Harvey and it was fantastic).

 Above: Nick Below: Mckenna & Destry

Well, I love life. Life is good. Not only did I get to see Nick perform, Mckenna (My Angel) was also in it and I got to see them both after. We all almost cried (Mckenna did) when we saw each other. We missed each other so much. Everyone was excited that I came, not just those two. I graduated last school year and I  knew every single student that went to  the school and was friends with all of them. So when I came to the performance they were all very excited to see me :3 It made me happy. I love them all. I also got to see Destry (My Destry-Danish <3) but not at the play, just at the school when I came to pick my little brother up. She has been doing well. I'm so proud of the progress all three of those girls are making, they mean a lot to me. I love them so much.

I WANT IT

I. Want. It. So. Bad.

My Creative Muse is Back! HUZZAH!

Well, my creative muse is back without a doubt. I wrote two songs, neither one is named yet. They're both love songs, one is happy and the other not so much. The first is about everything I want in my future relationship, the man I marry one day. It's about being in love with that person and never having to spend another night alone. The other is about love that's tearing two people apart. One keeps holding on too tight while the other wants to break free but won't because they're in love. The love is killing them but they won't let it go. I like them both :3 It makes me happy that I have my inspiration for writing back. Not only that, but almost all my creativeness is back. I drew a new tattoo design on my leg, it's a stem that starts smooth with swirls and leaves starting at my ankle, the stem swirls and waves all the way up my leg, by the time it's halfway up my calf it gets rough with thorns and leaves but no more swirls and at the top is a rose right below my knee. Oh, it's beautiful. I used black for the stem, green for the leaves, blue for the swirls, and magenta/red for the rose. It was great. Then on paper I drew a black and white detailed picture of a human heart. It turned out quite great and I'm very proud of it <3 YAY! My creative muse is back and I'm on a creative spree. My favorite band is Mayday Parade and one of their symbols or logos or whatever is a broken heart, a specific broken heart. Well, I embroidered the broken heart symbol with bright red thread onto my purple shirt. It looks awesome. I'm wearing it right now. It makes me smile. I'm probably going to embroider the symbol onto other clothing too, like jean pockets and such. It'll look cool and if people ask it'll give me a chance to tell people about the most amazing band EVER! LOVE!
Anyways, life is still good. I got to see Puppy and Trent today. I went over to Puppy's house and they were playing video games. We ended up watching the TV show The Walking Dead. It's a cool show, we're on season 3 now. Super awesome and addictive.

Oh Life Will Be Life and I've Learned to Enjoy It

:3
Life is good to me, I mean, life is life and always does what life does, but I've learned to enjoy what life decides to throw at me. I've started wanting to write again! I love to write song lyrics. My friend Abi and I started a "band" I guess you could call it, but it's not really. It's my love of writing songs and her love of the guitar, piano and composing. So every time I write lyrics she would write music for it on either the piano or guitar. It will be harder now that she's six hours away and swamped with college all the time. But still, I want to write songs. The last song I wrote was titled 'Helpless' and is about how I feel whenever I'm left alone in a house, also how I feel  at night when I'm alone in my room and can't sleep (I have severe insomnia). I really enjoy writing a lot, I love to write songs.
It's also why my music that I listen to is heavily influenced on lyrics. I don't really listen to songs unless I feel like they have meaningful lyrics. Which is why I love Mayday Parade! They have amazing vocals, music, and heartfelt lyrics!!! OH I LOVE THEM! And they were absolutely mind-blowing wonderful live!!!! I can die happy now that I've seen them live.
Anyways, life is good. I haven't really talked to pretty boy since he, puppy, and I went to breakfast not too long ago. I want to talk to him but I get all flustered. Oh well, I will eventually. I can do it!
I think I'm going to go back to writing music, I just need more inspiration, I guess. I wrote my last two songs in Jun e 2012, five months ago. One was for a boy I was hopelessly in love with and the other was Helpless. I guess I never found enough inspiration after that. I've tried to write songs since then, only three attempts, but I never got far and ended up throwing all three away. Sigh. But I don't worry, I'll find inspiration, I always do. Since 2008, I've only written 13 songs: 1 in 2008, 1 in December 2011, 1 in June 2011, 3 in July 2011, 4 in August 2011, 1 in October 2011, 2 in June 2012. Haha, apparently I had a lot of inspiration from July-August 2011. Oh well, it'll return, it will. I just know it :3

LIFE IS GRAND!

I like words that people don't use often, half the time these words aren't actual words either. Like fantabulous and confuzzled. Things like that. I also enjoy saying grand, swell, smashing, snazzy and all that jazz. There are so many wonderful words out there and I love them all.
Oh and my boy troubles are solves (not really, I'm just saying that). I met a boy a year and a half ago at work. He was quitting when I started working so I only worked with him for two days. Anywho, this guy is awesome. I've been semi-in love with him since I met him. Since things with Trent are confusing and I don't really want anything at ALL to happen with Matt, I think I'm just going to go after this other guy -the man of my dreams (lol). I call him Pretty Boy. He's great <3
Also, I'm going to see my favorite band in concert this saturday!!!!! WWWWWWWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I love and adore you Mayday Parade! I can't wait to see you and listen to your gorgeous music live!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!

Wow, life moves fast

Well, yeah, wow.
So what's happened since the last time I posted? Well, let's start from what I talked about in my last post and see what's changed. I'm still out making friends and loving life, everything, and everyone. I still spend almost every day with puppy because he's still my BMFFE. We've been trying to get together and do yoga/stretching in the mornings. We're getting there. It's fun :3 I enjoy spending time with puppy, it's precious.
Work is still going great! I love my job very much. Only a couple days ago one of my great friends, Kylie, got hired at my work!!!! I got to train her on Friday  It was awesome! Then today I got to train the other new girl, she's gorgeous, her name is Emily.  Also on the subject of work, I also became an independent distributor for a nutrition company called Herbalife. It's amazing! I've been doing Herbalife for over a year and a half and it has done sooooooooooo much to help me! But it wasn't until last week that I became a distributor and can now sell the amazing products. I'm excited for that! I can't wait to help others like it has helped me :3
Oh! I'm still continuing my contortion training but now I've realized I have a lot more time. I recently found out I can't audition for the circus I want to be in (it's my goal, my dream to be in this circus) till I'm 25. That gives me 6 1/2 years to train for it! I'll be so good by then they'll have to hire me!!!!!
My new friend that I mentioned? C.K. or Celestial. I haven't talked to her in weeks. Our friendship seems to have dropped off the face of the planet. ....I'm okay with this. C.K. was awesome and we got along really well, but I've always had this 'people are replaceable' mindset. If I loose one friend I can always make another. Besides, we weren't like friends for years or anything, only a couple months. So it's not a tragedy.
Speaking of failing friendships. The boy C.K. introduced me to, Casey, that didn't work out. We hung out outside of work just the two of us often. He was charming and funny and fun. I really enjoyed being around him and I liked him a lot. Alas, physicality can ruin anything. We more or less were a mild form of friends with benefits. We never gave ourselves time to just be normal friends first. So when I said we need to make a decision because I don't do the whole friends with benefits thing, he said the wisest decision would be to just be friends. Though it was not the decision I wanted, if he wasn't willing to fight for me then whatever, people are replaceable. So we decided to just be friends. Well, we haven't really talked to each other or seen each other since that day we decided that. Why? Because we didn't have a friendship to go back to or to start with. Oh well, not a bog loss. Soon afterwards I started going on more dates with Trent. Trent asked me out a year ago and then asked me out again recently. We were never a couple or anything, we went on one simple date last year. Now we've gone on a few dates and I really like him. But I am human and I make mistakes. Like the fact that I recently met a boy named Matt. Now Matt and I have been hanging out a bunch, and I know Matt likes me, a lot. I would choose Trent in a heartbeat but I don't know. Mainly because Trent is so innocent in certain ways, like he's never had a girlfriend or kissed a girl. I don't want to be Trent's first date, first girlfriend, first kiss, and then his first regret in a relationship. I don't want to be that girl. But I really like Trent at the same time. Ugh, I thought boy troubles would end when high school did. But nope, they just get worse.
Anywho! Even with all that, life is absolutely fantastic! And I'm loving every second of it :3

Isn't Life Wonderful?

I LOVE YOU LIFE! I really do!
Wow, been a while. Well, life is wonderful, as usual. Making friends, hanging out with friends, loving everything and everyone. I spend most of my time with Puppy, of course. Since he's my BMFFE. We usual do random things, we don't really plan activities out, they're mostly in the moment decisions. I work more now. Only five days a week, but I now work till close more. YAY!
I'm still working on working towards my dream of one day being a contortionist for a circus :D I'm working very hard on it. Trying to learn new tricks and extending my flexibility.
I made a new friend :3 A while ago but I haven't made a post in a while so....yeah. Anyways, I call her C.K. and she's absolutely amazing. Blunt, kind, awesome, not afraid to say what's on her mind  no matter what it is, she's gorgeous and fun. She's a good singer and will sing along to songs with me. We have a lot of fun when we hang out. She's really good friends with Puppy, as well. So the three of us hang out a lot together. We all get along great. We go on random adventures and stuff. It's fun. Also, C.K. introduced me to her friend Casey. Now Casey is a very attractive man. Anyways, we met while he was at work. Later that night, I was given his number. We talked and the next day he visited me at my work. Anyways, yeah. I like Casey a lot, he's a great guy. I think he's handsome, interesting, nice, funny, accepting. He doesn't really speak his mind very often but it's okay. He's also very fun. I enjoy his presence.
Anyways, life is wonderful. My brother came down from college to visit. I have a new brother. He's 19, his name is Taylor. He was living with his mother but got kicked out and is now living with us. I rarely get to see him other than in the mornings but he seems like a good guy.

I Love Life

I woke up
My little brother was sick so I didn't have to drive him to school
I stretched and practiced my contortion training
I learned 2 new contortion tricks
I have 1 1/2 of the new contortion tricks down
I got to meet up with Puppy for On the Mark Nutrition
I went home
Watched Saw III, Saw IV, and Saw V
Had all my plans cancelled on me
Saw no one else all day
Found out Mom was back in the hospital
Sat on the couch without the energy or optimism to do anything
Can't leave the house because I have to take care of my sick little brother while Dad is with Mom at hospital
Puppy was feeling sick at work
Couldn't go help Puppy because I couldn't leave the house
Mom comes home from hospital with Dad, throws up, and then lies down for bed
I get on computer and have nothing left to do with my day

Insomnia

Oh the joys of not sleeping at night. I don't sleep well but usually I spend my nights being more productive then writing on here because there's nothing left to do. Usually when I can't sleep (basically every night) I embroider, draw, write, sing quietly as to not wake my family, watch TV or movies, walk around, make food that doesn't require loudness, read, create something, sow, and more. Tonight I want to watch Katy Perry the Movie. Mainly because I love Katy Perry, I haven't seen it yet, and earlier today I rented the movie but didn't watch it because I found out my favorite movie was on and I watched that instead (My favorite movie is: The Skeleton Key). Yes. Now  I'm writing here because I feel there's nothing left to do before I put the movie in.
You know, night is so very beautiful. It's peaceful. The quiet, the darkness, the color of the sky, the stars, the moon, the moon covered by night's black clouds. It's truly magnificent. I adore the night, more than the day at least. Unfortunately I need to be up during the day so as much as I love the night I also want sleep, but I rarely get it.
I get very sad at night, maybe because to pass time I think too much, or listen to sad music that makes my emotions all crazy depressed. I just get lonely is all. Everyone is asleep and I sit in my room wide awake with no one to talk to but myself or my stuffed animals. I have no one to call who will answer and stay up with me. Except Puppy, but I feel bad keeping him up. He's such a good friend and I don't want to mess with his sleep life just so I don't get lonely.
I don't know. I just want someone to spend my nights talking to. To talk to and to laugh with. Someone to hug and cuddle with. Someone who will make me feel like my loss of sleep isn't a waste of the precious seconds of my life. Someone to make smile and to have adventures with.
I'm what most people call a social-lite. I flock to people and generally people like me. I'm optimistic and happy, fun and spontaneous, a little crazy but mostly not in a creepy way. I'm friendly and accepting, I listen and talk to people. I'm party girl until it's time to be serious, then I can be serious. I care about other people. I love people. I love them so much so being alone actually physically hurts sometimes. I'm someone who needs people. I don't care about being friends with everyone or if everyone likes me. Who cares? I know people will not like me and I know I can't make everyone happy. I just need people.
My days are fantastic if I'm around one person I love or care about. That's why being alone kills me. I truly need people around me to feel safe or comforted or happy. I need others. Seeing people makes me happy. It really does.

Cuddle Cat Nap/Sushi/Movie Date

Today started normally. Took my brother to school way before I was ready to be awake. Last night I stayed  up drawing my interpretation of the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland. The Cheshire cat is my favorite character and I'm quite pleased with the way my drawing turned out.
Anyways, after I dropped Paul (my little bro) at school, I went and saw Puppy. We took a cuddle cat nap on his bed until we were mostly awake. Then we went to our nutrition club place we always go to. Then he had to go to work so I went home. I chilled at home for a bit, drew a little more, got some new music, and cleaned a tiny bit. Then around five-ish I went to see my friend Katie, we went and got sushi, then we hung out and talked  till I left for my date at seven. I had a date with a boy named Justen who is going to college right now for music (AWESOME!). Anyways, the plan was to go see a movie.
Now, just saying, a movie is the worst idea for a date....EVER. You can't talk and you're not really getting to know the other person at all. The only reason I didn't suggest another activity instead is because it was a horror movie we were going to and I ADORE horror movies with all my heart!!!!!!
So we watched the movie, drank Starbucks smoothies and went our separate ways  for the rest of the night. He's a great guy. He's handsome (but he doesn't qualify on the beautiful man list...btw Puppy is #1), he's nice, he's a gentleman, he smiled the entire time, he's actually really funny, he's sweet, he took me to a horror film. He's pretty great. His favorite color is red, he plays the guitar and piano, he likes all music EXCEPT country (....I like all music....this includes country.....country just isn't my favorite....at least I like it more than rap), his mom wants him to be a doctor or something but he loves music, he's active and likes to long board, he's SUPER nice to everyone around him (he thanks people for things more than I do...and that's saying something), he's optimistic and likes people. He's got some weird quirks but overall he's really a great guy and I had a swell time on our date tonight.
After the movie date I went and saw Puppy again because I missed him. I hadn't seen him all day except the morning when I was half asleep the whole time. We watched Scrubs and talked a bit. We both wanted to go on a walk but because of my injured toe we didn't. I wish we had. I miss him so much sometimes I wish I could write 'I Miss You' on a rock and throw it at his head so he knows how much it hurts! (For in case people do read this, that is an inside joke between me and Puppy, that's not serious.)
But I do miss him already now that I'm home. I don't get it. I know people for years and can go months not talking to them and not miss them. I see him twice in one day for maybe two hours each and when I get home I miss him more then all those other people combined times fifty. I think its because time with Puppy is precious. Every second I get to spend with him is a gift not to take for granted. I could spend two hours alone just staring into his beautiful brown eyes.....anyways! That's why I miss him so much, because there is never enough time with Puppy, never. I can never get sick of his presence. But other people after a while start to annoy me......

WOO!

So.....yeah. Today was AWESOME! Also pretty normal. Took my brother to school, hung out with Puppy, went to On the Mark Nutrition, went to work, got home. Yeah. Oh! I'm hanging out with my friend Katie at five tomorrow. We're going to get snowcones and sushi. Then at seven I'm going to see a horror movie with Justen. It'll be great. Sorry this is such a short post....nothing really happened today. It was pretty normal. I like that my normal days are so awesome :3

The Tale of the Bloody Toe

YAY! So my toe has been injured for a few weeks now. It's been really gross and pussy and sometimes, if I walk on it a lot or put lots of pressure on it, it bleeds. Well, it's usually not so bad and just slightly painful. I clean the wound every day and wrap it in 3 band-aids and sports tape. Well today I was closing at work with Puppy. My toe really started to hurt but whatever. When we were done and went outside, I took off my shoe and notices that the part of my sock where my big toe is was covered in blood. It had bled through the 3 band-aids and the sports gauze AND my sock. GROSS! Anyways, it was bloody. Then Puppy and I cleaned it, wrapped it in gauze, and bandages. It's all good now, just hurts. But I thought it was funny. :3

Cleaned My Room For A Reason

So.....I cleaned my room. Mostly because I don't want it to feel like my room anymore. No more safe haven. It's going to be a empty room from now on so I won't be attached and will have no reason to ever be home. I hate living in my house, it's not a very pleasant environment.
Now you all know that I spend almost all my time with Puppy, because he's my BMFFE. He means the world to me so we spend as much time together as we can. This also means him coming over after work which he usually gets off around 11:30pm or midnight. He'll come over and we'll just hang out until he leaves for home. My Dad I guess got sick of this last night. Not only that but he has some serious issues against me. He's just using the fact that I "spend too much time with George" as an excuse to stab me with all the problems he thinks I have. He really thinks I'm a bad child. Anyways, last night he said that if Puppy comes over after work or after midnight again he will no longer be welcome in our home. Then he added that if I break that rule or any rule then it's the same for me. I won't be welcome in my father's house.
So......after that I couldn't sleep. So I cleaned my entire room out. Took EVERYTHING off my walls and cleaned everything. For those who know me, you know I HATE voids on my walls so my walls are ALWAYS covered completely. The fact that they are now bare make my room feel very unwelcome which is what I want. I don't want to be kicked out but at the same time I really do because I hate living here.....

Black Cherry

My new hair is a black cherry color. It's dark red and shiny in sunlight! I LOVE IT! Haha, not what I was going for but I really love the way it looks. It's great. I also want to take this time to say I love my job and all the people I work with! I LOVE YOU ALL! I love all my friends, especially those I see a lot and who come to our Thursday night ultimate frisbee games. You guys are the best! So many people to love. Puppy-G, Abi-Bird, David-Bug, Destry-Danish, Kelly-Kitten, My Angel-Mckenna, Ani, Arin, Catye, My Cactus Child-Josh, Katie, Katlyn, Kenzie, Kylea, Leslie, Cameron C., Manda-Panda, My Twin-Lex, My Love-Narissa, My Legacy-Nick, Trent, My Heart-Kylie, All my new friends (Like Bambi and Alex and Brad and such people I have just met recently), and I probably forgot a lot of people but there is just too much love to name them all. Oops and oh well. <3 LOVE! <3 LOVE! <3 LOOOOOOOOOOOVVVVVVVVVEEEEE

YEAH!

Okay, I'm excited! There are things I very greatly enjoy in life: Making friends, talking to people, giving hugs/cuddling, Going to Amusement Parks, and Getting my hair done. In the past year I have gone through the hair colors: Dirty Blonde (natural color), Brunette, Burgundy, Black with blue tint, Black with red tint, and Cherry red which faded to a beautiful orange color which is the color I have right now. I adore my red/orange hair but I miss my black and tomorrow I return it to black, with the red tint of course. I want to put a blue streak through my bangs, that sounds fun, but it all depends on if they have blue when I go in tomorrow. I hope so. :3 :3 :3 I love getting my hair dyed/cut/styled, doesn't matter! I love the haircut place! :D YAY!

I'm Tired.....

You know, I'm a very very very very very happy person. People always say I'm too happy. I smile all day long and I love everyone. People mean everything to me and I make friends with everyone. It's not fake either, i'm truly just an extremely happy person. Unless I can't sleep. I can get really, really sad at night. I don't know why, but I just do. I adore the nighttime but after a certain time I just get really sad. Like now. Right now, I'm just tired of being lonely. Being everyone's friend is strangely very lonely. So I spend all my time generally with one or two people now to create real friendships. Yet, I still find myself feeling so very lonely all the time.

What to write.....

I'm not exactly sure what to write.....hmm........hmm.................Yeah, I have no clue. OH! It rained today, I went and woke up Puppy early in the morning to play in the rain with me! It was super fun and it rained for most of the day today. Which is awesome because I love rain with all my heart! Then I went to the dentist, which is always great. Mainly because I have great teeth and my dentists always tell me I take such wonderful care of my teeth. :3 YAY! Then I spent more time with Puppy. Yep. Then....well, I went to work. Yeah. Then I went home and watched TV until now.

Woot! Woot!

Nothing really new to say. Saturday I spent my day with George then went to work (but this time didn't get sick :3 Huzzah!). Sunday I went to church with George, then we ate some mac n cheese together. After that I went to see my Kelly-Kitten and we made origami flowers and such things. We also watched two movies while doing origami. Then I went back to George's for maybe ten minutes to say hello and give him a bouquet of my origami tulips and some origami lotuses. Then I went home. Yes.  Then I ate a ton of food and later that night George came over so we could do some nightly reading on the phone with Abi, we said a prayer with the three of us and then she had to sleep. George stayed till around midnight before he too had to go because he was tired. It was a great night. Now it is Monday, I'm awake and already took my little bro to school. WOO! I have to go get at very least two thank you cards today. I'm giving one to George everyday, and when I can't get them, I'm going to make them. I didn't give him one yesterday which is unacceptable so today he must get two. YES!

Ups & Downs

Yesterday was interesting. It started off with my Dad taking me to get the brakes on my car fixed. Then Puppy came over to play. He tried to teach me how to play chess.....after a while we ended up playing Jenga. But he hasn't given up on teaching me chess, apparently it's a process.
Anyways, all this was amazing and super fun. Then we went and picked up my car with it's shiny new brakes that don't make the car sound like it's going to explode. Then we picked up my little brother from school and took him home. Then we went to subway. Oh, Puppy and I had been avoiding subway because the last time I went I threw it up, which was sad, because I absolutely adore subway sandwiches.
Anyways, we went to subway, hung out for a little bit, then we had to go to work. Oh the joy of working with your best friend :3 Well, at work, the tuna sandwich from subway decided to come back and I threw it up just like last time. So no more subway for me......
I also got a horrible headache which was more like a migraine than anything. I ended going home from work way early because of it. When I got home I slept until around 9pm. Then I watched my family and a few of their friends play Boggle. Then my Dad put on the Hunger Games movie after everyone but him and me had fallen asleep. During the movie Puppy came over to check on me and take care of me. At this point my stomach had settled nicely but my head still wanted to split in two. He brought me all the things I need to feel better when I'm sick: Strawberry yogurt, Chocolate Pudding, French Fries, Gatorade, Love & Cuddles. We finished the movie then sat on a blanket on my front lawn watching the stars. Puppy stayed with me until my headache was gone.......he left about ten minutes ago.

YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSA!

It's a wonderful morning because last night was such a wonderful night. I got a lot off my chest last night and I finally got over a problem that has been plaguing me forever now. I feel so very very very happy right now! I feel like a million pounds has been lifted off my shoulders and like I can breathe again. YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

Mreh Mreh Mreh

I adore my life! I absolutely adore it! I adore my friends, my work, the people I work with, the people I see and talk to! Life is great!
So, today I have decided something very important. Yesh. Very important, but I cannot say yet, it is not ready to be known. I have to fully develop this decision so I know exactly how to word it when I'm ready for it to be said. :3 This decision makes me very happy, though, yes it does.

Best Congrats Card Saying I've Ever Heard

You reached for the stars and got them. Now you have a handful of stars. Big f***ing deal



LOL! I found a congrats card that said that and busted up! I LOVE IT! Ahahahahahahahahahahaha!

The picture is of my darling Kelly Kitten. :3 Meow. She's awesome, I love this girl. I spent all of last summer practically living on her couch. She's so funny and crazy. Anyways, today I spent my day with awesome people. I spent my morning with my family doing fun family stuff for labor day. Then I spent little while with George and Abi before Abi went back to her college and George went to work. After they left I spent the rest of my day with Kelly. We watched some great movies :3 HUZZAH!

Moods......

Good, Great, Bad, Okay, Good, Bad, Horrible, Utterly miserable
Bad, Okay, Good, Fantastic, Good, Okay, Irritated, Mad, Angry, Horrible, Sad, Bad
Okay, Good, Great, Fantastic, Wonderful, Happy, Glorious
Who know? Probably, Good, Okay, Bad, Horrible, Great, Wonderful, Fantasatic

The Forever Winter By Naomii Bott

THE FOREVER WINTER By Naomii Bott

Petaled Roses

Blooming Flowers

Winding breeze

Beautiful summer powers

Are gone when the cold winter comes

Turning light to dark

Freezing over warmth

Trees losing their bark

Yet summer never did come back

Neither did fall nor spring

Only winter scorches on

Our birds can no longer sing

Our hopes are fallen with the flowers

Their petals and our dream begin to die

Despair flowing on forever

No one stopping to wonder why

All we know is the time is near

The end the winter brings

We can all hear the deafening sound

Of the howl the wind sings

Winter brings snow and death

Both wondrous and terrifying things 

This curse we brought upon us all

The curse the forever winter brings

We all refused to live happy

We all had chosen saddening lives

So to punish us for doing this

Winter stayed with its colder knives

We brought this killing winter here

So please don't forget

I died with frozen tears,

Streaming down my face in cold regret

Written Age: 9

Why? By Unknown Author

WHY? By Unknown Author

Why are we so surprised when winter comes, 

Though it happens every year?

Why is change, though it happens constantly,

The one thing we most fear?

Why don't we stop to tell people how much we love them?

Why do we just assume they know?

And why do we hold onto things the most tightly,

When it's time to let them go?

Why do we wast precious minutes and seconds,

Doing unimportant things?

Why do we push off what we really should do,

As if we know what tomorrow will bring?

Why do we judge others to quickly,

But are reluctant to judge our own minds and hearts?

Why do we try to be just like others,

Hiding everything that sets us apart?

Why do we walk around laughing and smiling,

When we really want to cry and shout?

When we're bleeding inside, why do we never seek help,

And think death is the only way out?

Why are we sometimes blind to our own faults?

We're perfect, or so we claim.

We tell others to practice what they preach,

But do we do the same?

Why do we conjure up our own illusions,

To make the world seem more secure and fair?

Why do we stand dumbfounded when illusions shatter,

Though we're the ones who put them there?

Why are we often jealous of what others have, 

Though they might have less than us?

Why do we so often hide our feelings, 

From the ones whom we most trust?

Why do we judge others by what we see outside,

And never try to look within?

And when people judge us in that same way,

Why do we think of it as the worst sin?

Why is it we feel it's horrible to murder,

Or hurt someone in any way,

But we've no problem driving daggers into people's souls,

Killing them, slowly, and slowly each day?

Will we ever be able to answer these questions?

Will we not be able to change until we do?

And is changing even possible for us?

Do we even want to?

............

Last night was..........I don't know how to describe it. It was sad but amazing all at the same time. I wish I could explain it, but I can't. I can only say this:
George is the best friend anyone could ever have. Anyone who meets him knows this. He can make a room light up in a second, he's the most amazing person I've ever met. He understands and he actually cares. He wants to help people and loves people. He's optimistic but he's still human and gets depressed. I don't think he truly understands how happy he makes people, how happy he makes me. More than happiness, possibly more than joy. If I had the choice to never leave his side, I wouldn't. I love being around him, more than anything else. I have fun with him, even if we're doing absolutely nothing and being lazy. Seeing him makes me smile. There isn't a single thing I don't love about him, not one. He's not perfect, but I love his imperfections and his quirks. He's wonderful and outstanding. I've known him for about three months and I can't imagine my life without him, I don't want to. I'd go through some serious George withdrawals. And I love him. I love him with my whole being. Right now, he's my everything. I just want him to be happy. I want him to know and understand that he deserves happiness more than anyone I've ever known. He's the one person I know that doesn't deserve pain or hurt in his life. I know he will and does and I know his life will always have challenges and problems and that he's going to be hurt and sad, but he deserves so much more. He deserves every happiness I can possibly think of. He deserves the respect and love of all those around him. All those girls who ever gave him up I can honestly say made the biggest mistake of their life. Letting him go would be impossible. He's the one man that is actually worth fighting for. Anyone willing to let him go never understood what they had. He means the world to me. I miss him when he's not around even if we spent the whole day together. I wish there was more I could do to help him, to comfort him, to make him happy. I wish I could hug all his problems away, but I can't. I can try. No one, I mean no one, can ever replace George. No one deserves a happy ending like he does. He is the most wonderful person I know. I thank God every single day that he came into my life, and now that he has I hope he never leaves it. Because I will never let him go and I will never stop loving him. He means too much to me.

WOO!

Okay, last night I spent with my friend Destry, who is one of the most wonderful and beautiful girls I've ever known. She's sweet, funny, caring, loving, and a huge flirt/temptress. Haha, boys look out if you want to know Destry. :3 She's absolutely wonderful and one of my Best friends. The picture is Destry and me my senior year at our school when I had brown hair. Anyways, we sat out on my lawn and talked until she had to go home around 11:30 pm. Then George came over so we could stargaze. We spent the night stargazing, talking, cuddling, being best friends as usual until we fell asleep. Haha, we woke back up around 3:14 am and then he went home and I fell asleep again on my couch with a damp blanket because while we fell asleep outside it started to rain. Lol, it was great.
Anyways, today I slept a lot. I went to church with Puppy and then we went to his house and skyped Abi who is away at college :( But it was great to talk to her and see her. Then he played a video game online with Abi and I fell asleep and more or less slept the rest of the time I was there. Oops....anyways, I came home and now I'm eating lemon cake with chocolate frosting. Win :3

Today I spent my morning with a beautiful girl named Nick. She was a freshman last year at my school when I was a senior. We became great friends when I realized how insanely similar we are. The picture is from last year when we baked green chocolate chip cookies together. Haha. She's great. Anyways, she came over and we walked all around my neighborhood and then we sat in the cemetery by my neighborhood and just talked for a while. We talked about a lot of things, how she's a sophomore now, the new teachers, our summers, we talked a lot about theater and all that gloriously wonderful stuff. I love this girl, she made my morning fantastic :3 And then one of my favorite movies, The Skeleton Key, came on TV after Nick left. Awesome day so far. My plans for the rest of the day are to, hopefully, see Puppy, then go to work, then see my good friend Destry after work. <3 We'll see how this day unfolds, YAY!

So Very Happy :3

Okay, that long car ride I thought I was going to hate ended up not being a long car ride. After half and hour my car broke down and the car is officially dead now. My Dad's friend took Jordan to his college and Puppy came and picked me up when the tow-truck came for my car. Yep. I then spent the rest of the night with Puppy. That boy is so great, he's my best friend. For good reason, too. I wish everyone knew him, there's no one else like him in the whole world. He changes people's lives. He gives a certain happiness to people that no one else can give. He makes me so very, very happy. Which is why tonight I was so filled with such joy. I can't imagine my life without my BMFFE. We'll be best friends for all eternity, I can guarantee it. He makes me so overjoyed :3

Driving/Long Car Rides

I hate long car rides.....but it's okay. This time I only have to drive around two-t and a half hours. Taking the boy that has been living with us to college. WOO! I'll miss him, he's become like my fourth brother. My twin bro, Tyler, is also going to college today but his college is four hours away and my dad is taking him. I'll miss him, too. I'm slowly losing my brothers...ish. Not permanent losing. My oldest brother left for college two years ago, then last year he went to Oklahoma on his LDS mission. Now it's going to just be my Mom & Dad, my little brother, Paul, and me. Weird...............anyways, time to start driving. Ew. Still, I love life!

What A Wonderful Night

Man tonight was great! The day was....okay. I woke up and got ready for the day. Then I read with my family like we always do in the mornings. Then I took my little brother to school, which is always fun because my little bro and I get along really well.
I didn't really start befriending my brothers until my oldest brother left for college and it hit me I should really develop a relationship with my siblings. So I started learning about my brothers and becoming their friends. Honestly, I'm closest to my little brother because we relate a lot and he goes through a lot of the struggles I did at his age (He's only two years younger than me, though).
Anyways, we have a lot of fun listening to music and talking every day when I drive him to school. So after that I spend the rest of my time eating on my couch and watching a very addictive how called 'Face Off'' which is just amazing. Then I got ready for work and went to work. Work was okay, I was hungry and in pain the whole time but whatever, I love my job and I adore the people I work with. :3
After work I went to see my BMFFE, Puppy. When I arrive he's playing a violent video game with one of his roommates. It was so violent I think it's my new favorite video game <3 HUZZAH! Then we skyped my BEEFFE and his girlfriend, Abi-Bird! We talked for a long while, then we read scriptures together and she went to bed. Then Puppy and I watched silly videos, hung out, talked, and played up until I had to leave.
One of the things I love about Puppy is he understands my irrational fears. Like, I'm afraid of driving at night because when I go out to my car, I always think there's someone underneath or inside it that will kill me. So he walks me out and checks my car with me so I'll feel safe driving home. Now that is best friendship :3 And on our way to my car we noticed it was kind of humid outside. It was almost midnight and it was dark and grey-black clouds blocked the sky. Multiple times lightning flashed and it was beautiful! I love lightning but my favorite is it's brother thunder. On my drive home I was so happy when it began to rain! I absolutely love the rain! It was quite a wonderful night
.................Too bad I left my phone at Puppy's house

Best Friends

HELLO! My Name is Naomi, but my friends call me Nom-nom, Nomi, Nommy, Noms or Nomi-Bear. I used to have a blog with my friends but eventually we all let it go. I decided to start another blog but this time I don't care if anyone reads it because I am making this blog specifically for me :3 About how much I love life and everything! The picture is of my two best friend in the entire world. First is George, we call him Puppy-George, Puppy-G, or sometimes just Puppy. He's my BMFFE (Best Male Friend For Eternity). In the middle is Abi, we call her Abi-Bird. She's my BEEFFE (Bestest Estest Friend For Eternity). The last one is me, Naomi. It's an old picture so I've changed. I don't have black hair anymore, it's now red. Abi and George pretty much still look the same as in that picture. Anyway, life is wonderful and glorious.
I met my Abi-Bird in 2008 at the beginning of our Freshman year at a performing arts school. We had a mutual friend, but weren't best friends until the summer after our freshman year. Anyways, we've been friends for four years (official on October 1st 2012) and now are both graduated. Nothing can come between us. She recently moved away for college but our friendship is stronger than ever.
I met Puppy last year when I started work. He had the same job in a different location. I became friends with someone at work named Steve, who happened to be his best friend. I met him a few weeks later. We knew of each other since then but didn't become best friends until two months ago (June 2012) when we "kidnapped" him on my birthday. Needless to say the three of us became the closest friends can get. We call ourselves the Trio of Doom and we love each other very much.
Not only are we amazing friends, but Abi and Puppy are actually dating. They began dating in June. After we kidnapped him for my birthday, we spent the next two days with him. then Abi and I left for California and the day after we returned they hung out alone and things just clicked. They happen to be the most adorable couple I've ever seen in my entire life and now that she's off at college they are trying long-distance.
Anyways, that's how I'll start this blog off. Nothing says how wonderful life is other than the two people who make me the most happy :3